First and foremost I want to thank you for reading this blog. This was written in August of 2012 and it documents a week long of events that occurred during a very turbulent time in my life. "I write my life times in between the papers lines..." - Mobb Deep Read this very intimate story and enjoy "A Day In The Life of Concepts Productions"
“Cycle Complete”
A year ago this week, I photographed one of the most
monumental events of my life. I was in Washington DC for the dedication of the
Martin Luther King Jr. Monument. The events that took place during that week
were absolutely BREATH TAKING and I had such an amazing time. Although I
captured memories that will last a lifetime for my family and friends, my heart
was EXTREMELY HEAVY. My usually big and
high cheek boned smiles were replaced with smirks and intermittent chuckles. I
was lost and I need to find a way out of my mental purgatory.
After shooting for 5 days and being completely rained out on
the last, I decided to do something random. I decided to get a bus ticket to
the Big Apple so that I could see what the hoopla was all about. I wanted to
see the big lights, the strange people, historical landmarks, and of course the
famous 5 boroughs. I admit that I was kinda nervous traveling to the biggest
city in North America by myself. I travel all the time but this time was
different. This wasn’t a work related trip where my schedule is already planned
down to the exact minute. Whenever I
travel, my flight, hotel, and airport shuttle is already organized and taken
care of before I even leave Oklahoma. I was searching for something in New York
but I didn’t know what it was. (As soon as I typed that, I had thoughts of the
movie “The Last Dragon” when Leroy was searching for ‘SumDumGoy’ also known as
The Master only to realize that he was indeed the master… I digress…)
Upon arriving in Times Square, I met up with one of my good
friends and we began our trek to the amazing neighborhood called Harlem. Harlem
is one of the coolest places I had ever been. There is a ton of culture,
history, and tradition. Of course the rest of New York City shares the same
elements of culture, history and tradition but there is just something
different and special about Harlem. Man… Harlem just smells different! Actually,
New York stinks but I’m just sayin’…. Harlem felt really cool. I put my stuff
down at my homies crib located around 125th and Malcolm X BLVD
(Lenox) and hit the streets for my journey.
The first thing I wanted to do was EAT !! The 4 hour bus
ride from DC had my stomach nibbling on my back. I stopped by the world famous
“Sylvia’s” the Queen of Soul food in Harlem. Everyone kept telling me including
my tour guide that I need to go to other spots but I didn’t want to. I just
wanted to say, “Of course I have been to Sylvia’s” to any New Yorker or person
in Oklahoma that I would encounter in the future. I admit that it was good and
I don’t doubt that there are better places to enjoy soul food in Harlem. I
actually only ate a few bites of my chicken & waffles, greens, and
mac/cheese. Like I said, I only wanted to say that I had eaten there but I
didn’t want to get full. There were more food places that I wanted to taste!! I
ended up going to a East Indian spot and that was interesting to say the least.
I’m a burger and steak kinda dude so this was completely out of my comfort
zone. It felt good although it didn’t look good when I was spitting the food
out. Lol… I ended my random shark
inspired food frenzy down in “Little Italy” located in another part of
Manhattan. Since pasta is my favorite food, that was right up my alley. During
my first day, I enjoyed some good soul food, some interesting Indian food, and
some good pasta… I was still searching though.
The next day was filled with activities that aren’t even in
my vocabulary. I went shopping son !! (Yes that is some bull…) Anyone that
knows me understands that I ABSOLUTELY HATE SHOPPING. In fact, if I ever make
it big, please trust that I will have someone on my staff that is PAID to go
buy all of the clothing that I need. I purchased shirts, jeans, shorts,
Timbs, Chucks, and JORDANS!! ß WTF? I bought a pair
of Jordans? Wow…. IN my defense, I had an emotional attachment as a kid to this
particular retro pair so I had to buy them. (I will share that story with you
another time) Did I mention that I don’t wear Chucks either? Yeah…. I copped
TWO PAIR! What the hell was I going through?? I don’t know but I was still
trying to figure it all out. After a few more days of good times, laughter,
live music, debates, history lessons, turn style hopping on the subway, college
friends, and NY style pizza, it was time for me to head off back to Oklahoma.
It was at that time that I decided to change the whole game entirely. I did the
unthinkable.
My flight home was scheduled to leave out of DC the next
after noon which meant that I had to catch the bus back to the Nations Capital.
While on that bus I began praying and thinking about my mother. Her birthday
was coming up and I knew that a few of my cousins had decided to take her to
Las Vegas to celebrate. It was then that I decided that I would switch my
ticket around and surprise my mother. Once I got to Ronald Reagan Airport in
the nations capital, I copped that Vegas airplane ticket and I was on my way to
the west. The flight was about 5 hours which gave me even more sleeping/rest
time and more time to think and reflect. You see, my life over the past week on
the east coast seemed like sweet chocolate chip cookies whereas my life back in
Oklahoma was more like upside down cheesecake…. And I really hate cheesecake. I
was transitioning from being in a relationSHIP to being in a single and lonely RAFT.
Thanks to the wi-fi enabled airplane, I was able to edit images and transmit
them to my DC clients 36,000 feet in the air. I viewed some of the images from
DC and reflected about my trip and all of the cool concerts that I
photographed. I couldn’t wait to see my mothers face once I surprised her in
Vegas. My mother is so nonchalant that I knew that once she saw me she would
smile, ask a few questions, then act like I was supposed to be there the whole
time anyways. She is mad cool and needless to say, her reaction was exactly how
I imagined it. My cousins were more surprised than anything. I took my mother
to dinner that evening and we shared laughs, stories, and the highlights from
my journey. After dinner, I showed my Mom and family my SUPA PLUSH room at the
Mandalay Bay. Damn that room was dope! After we departed ways, I jumped in my
Jacuzzi and began to pray. I prayed for my health, my understanding, and
solace. My next two days in Vegas were filled with buffet eating, pool
chilling, praying, sleeping, in that order… In fact, I never left my hotel the
whole time and I experienced some of the best sleep I had experienced in
MONTHS!! The feeling was supa dope and I enjoyed every second of it. I was
searching for something and it wasn’t until the last day in Vegas that I
realized that I had found it. I found “SumDumGoy”.
“The Cycle” is a phrase that I use to signify the 364 days
after a failed relationship. The cycle consist of the first Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and birthday that you are apart from your ex significant other. It
is always that first Valentines day that makes you think back if even for a
second about what you were doing on that exact date the previous year. Out of
all the days that I experienced during The Cycle, Christmas hurt me the most. My
last relationship was the very first time I had ever decorated a Christmas tree
with someone that wasn’t my blood relative. Crazy huh? I didn’t even put up a tree
last year because I just couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t because I had missed or
wanted her. It was simply me being stupid and beating myself up for letting my
end of the summer situation control my actions and emotions during Christmas
season. It happens to the best of us and I am so thankful for all of my past
experiences, and relationships. It did nothing but give me more life lessons
and stripes. (I’m a General in the infantry now…) Being in The Cycle doesn’t
mean that you are upset and stressed out over the past. It by no means is an
indication that you want the past back. It damn sure doesn’t mean that you can’t
date during that time and even LOVE AGAIN. I’m simply saying that is normal to
look back if even for a quick second but it is less likely if your cycle is
complete. Olympic 100 meter champion Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world
and even he looked back for a split second just to make sure he was winning the
race. It was simply for reassurance and I can respect that. I’m writing this piece
from Las Vegas on this blazing hot day in August happily informing you and
reassuring myself that “The Cycle is complete.” I'm ready to get on a ship...
J. Wiggins
Written 8.22.2012
Edited and posted 1.22.2013
PLEASE take a look at some of the images that I captured during my time in Harlem USA
------A Walk Through Harlem Part One------
Songs I listened to while writing and editing
"Brand New Me" - Alicia Keys
"Thinkin' Bout You" - Frank Ocean
"Chapter V Deluxe Edition" - Trey Songz
"Jane Doe" - Alicia Keys
"Gold" - Common
Edited and posted 1.22.2013
PLEASE take a look at some of the images that I captured during my time in Harlem USA
------A Walk Through Harlem Part One------
Songs I listened to while writing and editing
"Brand New Me" - Alicia Keys
"Thinkin' Bout You" - Frank Ocean
"Chapter V Deluxe Edition" - Trey Songz
"Jane Doe" - Alicia Keys
"Gold" - Common
18 comments:
J. thanks for sharing this piece. I am in a transition and I seem to be looking back and it was bothering me, because like you said I don't want the relationship and wouldn't go back if I could. Your "CYCLE" gave me a new way to look at this situation and open my mind to the different things I have been doing that signafies my form of looking back. Valentines this year will complete my cycle. I look forward to what lies ahead. Again thanks for sharing apart of you with the rest of us.
Wow....Yooooooo, fam that was incredible! I'm sitting in this booth in complete awe right now. Without getting into too much detail, I'll say that I'm going through something very similar. I have a desire to travel to New York and yes, I've had some of the best sleep EVER in my favorite place ever, good ol Las Vegas! One year, I went there 5 times! I was even on the verge of moving there 3 years ago. I'm in love with that city and everything in it! Needless to say, I never moved and I'm still here. I've had some gains and a tremendously devastating loss since that time....And yet, I'm still here! One day I'll get on that plane, bus or just drive to NY to get my own taste of The Big Apple but until then...I'll just BE. Great job fam and I look forward to more writing from you. You have a gift that like our good peoples James Cooper, takes me places with your words and allows me to live through them...and through you. Now if this damn jukebox would stop playing "Why Does It Hurt So Bad" I could possibly stop bawling into my waffle and eat it instead...
Wow, this really helped me... Though I cant say that im ready to start back dating, i will use my transition time to get reunited with me...My last situation took alot out of me physically and emotionally.. I felt myself starting to become bitter but i thought to myself that if i allow that to happen ,thats letting my ex continue to have power over my life(he would love to see me walking around unhappy)... So im using my transition to get to know me better(so that i dont make the same mistakes), let my heart heal and prepare myself to be loved by a man who wont take my unconditional love and kindness as a "come up"...
Wow J., thanks for sharing. I'm glad you were able to complete your cycle, and shocked it occurred subconsciously while in another state. Your pictures are always wonderful. Keep living your dream and you will get your personal shopper. Stay up and God Bless!
Vannice McCoy
J you've amazed me again. I'm truly speechless. Women rarely get a man's perspective on relationship healing, if we do it's from a book, a stranger that we don't interact with on a regular basis. This is great writing, The entire time I wanted to read more. Keep up the good work!! What great art!! Don't Sleep on J. Wiggins!! I can't wait to read more!!
wow. very revealing and a good way to characterize that "post" relationship recovery time. it makes me reflect personally: I don't think I've ever properly given myself the 365; it's a personal issue about being comfortable alone. thanks for the reflection and for sharing your story.
AWESOME! THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH US!
J., I remember a discussion regarding your "cycle" a few months back and was hoping we would get the opportunity to hear more. Thank you for fulfilling that for me. :) I totally co sign this philosophy and think its one that men and women alike should entertain in their own lives. we would have a lot fewer bitter/broken individuals if we give ourselves enough time to heal as opposed to looking to another being to do the healing.. Kudos Suga for another job VERY well done.
"It did nothing but give me more life lessons and stripes." Beautifully written, General. And even more wonderfully shared and lived. I learn a lot from you, you know.
You are a pretty deep brother...I enjoyed ur story and think it is so awesome all interestin things u have gotten 2 encounter. May God continue 2 bless u w/even more great experences. Thanks for sharin ur wonderful adventures.
"...Olympic 100 meter champion Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world and even he looked back for a split second just to make sure he was winning the race..."
That is the realist line I'VE read from you in the past several months. "The Cycle" is truly an experience, and you're right about the fact that how you feel in that cycle at various stages won't even look the same FOR YOU based on past cycles, let alone others.
Your words remind me of the lessons of the Sankofa word. Looking back, as long as your heart is facing forward and your feet are grounded can be useful and motivating. We often deride looking back, and hide it from folks who are in our lives now because we're afraid of criticism or of making them feel as if the present interaction with them isn't good enough. Yet what they, and we, often don't realize as you stated is that the present is only what it is, precious and glorious and wonderful, because of what we learned and those past things.
Kudos, on this one my dear. Kudos.
J.WIGG I HAVE ALL YOUR BLOGS AND THIS ONE WAS GREAT AS WELL. JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GOD WILL KEEP BLESSING YOU. LOVE ANGEI B :)
Well written, and paralleling the last dragon's lesson's learned to adult life is both humorous and serious at the same time. The imagery kind of reminded me of a Charlie Murphy True Hollywood story, but I digress. When we realize that our experiences, better yet, our decisions define our character it is healthy to look back at what laid that foundation. I think that Bruce Leroy's Master summed it up well before sending him out on his own. When Leroy was confused by not being able to acheive the glow he replied, "Good, good confusion is a part of life as are vengeance, fear and love; all facets must be embraced for then and only then will you break through the wall of mystery to the Glow." Who would have known that silly Barry Gordy pick would offer real life lessons to a man that watched it as a kid...?
Hey Hey Hey !!!!
Dope!! (In my own voice..lol) But for real..great blog
Whew.... I love you for this... and I was damn near on the verge of tears because everything you just wrote is something I felt and went through during a certain time in life. I'm glad you were able to make it through the cycle and find inner peace.
**hugs**
This was a great blog! I love when something I read or hear gives me a new and improved way of viewing something! Just know I'm going to be using that term "The Cycle" because that's real and I can mos def relate!
Oh and how you feel about shopping is how I feel about driving! I will be hiring someone to drive me around SOON AS I hit it big! LOL
I was planning my 6th trip to Vegas and was thinking about staying at Mandalay Bay even though that trip has been delayed I will definitely be staying there when I do go!
You have amazing ability to to walk us through this jouney with you. I am honored to take the walk with you. Please continue your work.
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