"The Cycle Complete"

First and foremost I want to thank you for reading this blog. This was written in August of 2012 and it documents a week long of events that occurred during a very turbulent time in my life. "I write my life times in between the papers lines..." - Mobb Deep  Read this very intimate story and enjoy "A Day In The Life of Concepts Productions"

“Cycle Complete”

A year ago this week, I photographed one of the most monumental events of my life. I was in Washington DC for the dedication of the Martin Luther King Jr. Monument. The events that took place during that week were absolutely BREATH TAKING and I had such an amazing time. Although I captured memories that will last a lifetime for my family and friends, my heart was EXTREMELY HEAVY.  My usually big and high cheek boned smiles were replaced with smirks and intermittent chuckles. I was lost and I need to find a way out of my mental purgatory.

After shooting for 5 days and being completely rained out on the last, I decided to do something random. I decided to get a bus ticket to the Big Apple so that I could see what the hoopla was all about. I wanted to see the big lights, the strange people, historical landmarks, and of course the famous 5 boroughs. I admit that I was kinda nervous traveling to the biggest city in North America by myself. I travel all the time but this time was different. This wasn’t a work related trip where my schedule is already planned down to the exact minute.  Whenever I travel, my flight, hotel, and airport shuttle is already organized and taken care of before I even leave Oklahoma. I was searching for something in New York but I didn’t know what it was. (As soon as I typed that, I had thoughts of the movie “The Last Dragon” when Leroy was searching for ‘SumDumGoy’ also known as The Master only to realize that he was indeed the master… I digress…)

Upon arriving in Times Square, I met up with one of my good friends and we began our trek to the amazing neighborhood called Harlem. Harlem is one of the coolest places I had ever been. There is a ton of culture, history, and tradition. Of course the rest of New York City shares the same elements of culture, history and tradition but there is just something different and special about Harlem. Man… Harlem just smells different! Actually, New York stinks but I’m just sayin’…. Harlem felt really cool. I put my stuff down at my homies crib located around 125^th and Malcolm X BLVD (Lenox) and hit the streets for my journey.

The first thing I wanted to do was EAT !! The 4 hour bus ride from DC had my stomach nibbling on my back. I stopped by the world famous “Sylvia’s” the Queen of Soul food in Harlem. Everyone kept telling me including my tour guide that I need to go to other spots but I didn’t want to. I just wanted to say, “Of course I have been to Sylvia’s” to any New Yorker or person in Oklahoma that I would encounter in the future. I admit that it was good and I don’t doubt that there are better places to enjoy soul food in Harlem. I actually only ate a few bites of my chicken & waffles, greens, and mac/cheese. Like I said, I only wanted to say that I had eaten there but I didn’t want to get full. There were more food places that I wanted to taste!! I ended up going to a East Indian spot and that was interesting to say the least. I’m a burger and steak kinda dude so this was completely out of my comfort zone. It felt good although it didn’t look good when I was spitting the food out. Lol…  I ended my random shark inspired food frenzy down in “Little Italy” located in another part of Manhattan. Since pasta is my favorite food, that was right up my alley. During my first day, I enjoyed some good soul food, some interesting Indian food, and some good pasta… I was still searching though.

The next day was filled with activities that aren’t even in my vocabulary. I went shopping son !! (Yes that is some bull…) Anyone that knows me understands that I ABSOLUTELY HATE SHOPPING. In fact, if I ever make it big, please trust that I will have someone on my staff that is PAID to go buy all of the clothing that I need. I purchased shirts, jeans, shorts, Timbs,  Chucks, and JORDANS!! ß WTF? I bought a pair of Jordans? Wow…. IN my defense, I had an emotional attachment as a kid to this particular retro pair so I had to buy them. (I will share that story with you another time) Did I mention that I don’t wear Chucks either? Yeah…. I copped TWO PAIR! What the hell was I going through?? I don’t know but I was still trying to figure it all out. After a few more days of good times, laughter, live music, debates, history lessons, turn style hopping on the subway, college friends, and NY style pizza, it was time for me to head off back to Oklahoma. It was at that time that I decided to change the whole game entirely. I did the unthinkable.

My flight home was scheduled to leave out of DC the next after noon which meant that I had to catch the bus back to the Nations Capital. While on that bus I began praying and thinking about my mother. Her birthday was coming up and I knew that a few of my cousins had decided to take her to Las Vegas to celebrate. It was then that I decided that I would switch my ticket around and surprise my mother. Once I got to Ronald Reagan Airport in the nations capital, I copped that Vegas airplane ticket and I was on my way to the west. The flight was about 5 hours which gave me even more sleeping/rest time and more time to think and reflect. You see, my life over the past week on the east coast seemed like sweet chocolate chip cookies whereas my life back in Oklahoma was more like upside down cheesecake…. And I really hate cheesecake. I was transitioning from being in a relationSHIP to being in a single and lonely RAFT. Thanks to the wi-fi enabled airplane, I was able to edit images and transmit them to my DC clients 36,000 feet in the air. I viewed some of the images from DC and reflected about my trip and all of the cool concerts that I photographed. I couldn’t wait to see my mothers face once I surprised her in Vegas. My mother is so nonchalant that I knew that once she saw me she would smile, ask a few questions, then act like I was supposed to be there the whole time anyways. She is mad cool and needless to say, her reaction was exactly how I imagined it. My cousins were more surprised than anything. I took my mother to dinner that evening and we shared laughs, stories, and the highlights from my journey. After dinner, I showed my Mom and family my SUPA PLUSH room at the Mandalay Bay. Damn that room was dope! After we departed ways, I jumped in my Jacuzzi and began to pray. I prayed for my health, my understanding, and solace. My next two days in Vegas were filled with buffet eating, pool chilling, praying, sleeping, in that order… In fact, I never left my hotel the whole time and I experienced some of the best sleep I had experienced in MONTHS!! The feeling was supa dope and I enjoyed every second of it. I was searching for something and it wasn’t until the last day in Vegas that I realized that I had found it. I found “SumDumGoy”.

“The Cycle” is a phrase that I use to signify the 364 days after a failed relationship. The cycle consist of the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday that you are apart from your ex significant other. It is always that first Valentines day that makes you think back if even for a second about what you were doing on that exact date the previous year. Out of all the days that I experienced during The Cycle, Christmas hurt me the most. My last relationship was the very first time I had ever decorated a Christmas tree with someone that wasn’t my blood relative. Crazy huh? I didn’t even put up a tree last year because I just couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t because I had missed or wanted her. It was simply me being stupid and beating myself up for letting my end of the summer situation control my actions and emotions during Christmas season. It happens to the best of us and I am so thankful for all of my past experiences, and relationships. It did nothing but give me more life lessons and stripes. (I’m a General in the infantry now…) Being in The Cycle doesn’t mean that you are upset and stressed out over the past. It by no means is an indication that you want the past back. It damn sure doesn’t mean that you can’t date during that time and even LOVE AGAIN. I’m simply saying that is normal to look back if even for a quick second but it is less likely if your cycle is complete. Olympic 100 meter champion Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world and even he looked back for a split second just to make sure he was winning the race. It was simply for reassurance and I can respect that. I’m writing this piece from Las Vegas on this blazing hot day in August happily informing you and reassuring myself that “The Cycle is complete.” I'm ready to get on a ship...

J. Wiggins

Written 8.22.2012
Edited and posted 1.22.2013

PLEASE take a look at some of the images that I captured during my time in Harlem USA
------A Walk Through Harlem Part One------


Songs I listened to while writing and editing

"Brand New Me" - Alicia Keys
"Thinkin' Bout You" - Frank Ocean
"Chapter V Deluxe Edition" - Trey Songz
"Jane Doe" - Alicia Keys
"Gold" - Common