SPANDEX JEANS... "Is that a quarter in your pocket?"

Last night I went and supported some good friends at a local spot in Oklahoma City that were playing some live music and performing some poetry. After enjoying an evening of spitting poetry and engaging in stimulating conversation, I decided to head across the street to the Skyy Bar to meet up with some friends. I was looking forward to chillin’ on the balcony and relaxing without my camera… The Skyy Bar had other plans for me that evening.

It seems like the guy working the door at the club had a problem with my attire. After showing him my ID for entry, he returned it to me and said, “I’m sorry but I can’t let you in… Your jeans are too baggy.” I stepped back and thought about my words carefully before I acted IGNUT… I explained to him that not only are my jeans not baggy BUT I wore those particular jeans because I knew I was going to that club and already “understood” their dress code and policies. He didn’t listen. He didn’t care. In fact, after I asked him to get a manager so that I could speak to them, he stepped back and I said, “I ain’t gettin’ nobody….” You can only imagine what my face looked like as I was staring this security guard dead in his eye. He obviously didn’t want my beautiful skin tone to be in the building.

Lets rewind to three hours prior to this nonsense… After sitting Indian style in my living room playing NCAA College Football ’09, I decided that I wanted to step out for the evening. Once I figured out where I was going, I took a shower and carefully picked out my evening attire. I decided on an Ed Hardy tee that I have owned for almost a year and worn only once and some stylish form fitting jeans from EXPRESS… Yes you read that right… EXPRESS!!!! Anyone that works/shops at Express KNOWS that they don’t sell baggy clothes unless you order 4 sizes bigger. In fact, my jeans fit so well that I didn’t even have to rock a belt with those joints. Feel me? I completed my outfit with some stylish black shoes and my signature wrist band.

Fast Forward to three hours later and THAT IS WHERE I STOOD… Looking mad as hell trying to tell the security guard that I wasn’t trying to start any trouble. I just wanted to meet up with some friends and have a good time. Finally one of the managers walked up and told the security guard to let me in. Right before I proceeded to walk in, I noticed some of my white counterparts walking out wearing some of the baggiest jeans I had ever seen. They were filled with holes and were severely wrinkled. When I saw that, I pointed them out to the security guard and told him in a very intellectual way that he was a d*ck head. Either it went over his bald head or he knew that he was wrong because he did not respond. No facial expression… no nothin’…

The first thing I did upon my entry was head to the balcony. I had to find a way to cool off and try to figure out the bigger picture. I passed up some friends on my way to the patio and explained to them my ordeal. One of my friends said, “Yeah man… They told me the same thing!” I sat there amazed at his story. The irony of the whole situation was that while we were all at the poetry spot, we joked about the entry policies of the Skyybar. We said things like, “I only wore THESE jeans because they won’t let me in later to the club if I had worn the other jeans in my closet…” We stated scenarios that went like this….”Although we fit the dress code, they aren’t going to let ALL of us in if we go together… Therefore, lets ‘stagger’ our entry in ten minute intervals so that they won’t feel ‘threatened’ by the presence of multiple Black men trying to get in at the same time. Don’t get me wrong. They usually let Black people in but only a certain type of brotha is permitted entry. Of course if you are a Sooner athlete you are GOOD! If you are one of the “Happy Negroes” that walks in with his white queen you are GOOD! Maybe by Red, Black, and Green wristband was too much for them… As if I was going to start some type of Obama Fundraiser by the DJ booth or something… but I digress…

How tight did they want my jeans to be? My gear was pretty snug if I do say so myself BUT if they had been any smaller I would have been telling ALL OF MY BUSINESS. It is no ones business that I had 35 cents in my pocket. (I will give you a second to figure that one out… lol) What did they want me to wear? SPANDEX JEANS OR SOMETHING??? Bleaching my skin would have been the only other alternative for entry and we all know THAT wasn’t going to happen. What is the world coming to when a college graduate in his late twenties can’t get into the club all because the security guard can’t see the imprint of his BALLS through his jeans? Black clubs like Spyce don’t turn away white patrons because their jeans are TOO SMALL! What type of crap would that be? I’m not going to pull the race card because THAT would just be TOO EASY. I will say that there are some ignorant dummies in this world that just so happen to be melanin deficient.

I am in no way saying that Black people shouldn't go the Skyybar. The message I'm trying to convey in this post is that Black people play by a different set of rules in life. I watched "Black In America" last week on CNN and it raised many different points. One point is for sure. Although every race plays the same game, our circumstances force us to play it differently. Even the previous week at the Skyybar the security guard (A different one and much cooler) stated that I had to "Lose the hat buddy...". I removed my hat and walked in and noticed EVERY ONE IN THERE HAD ON A DANG HAT. I had on a bucket hat that didn't have any gang colors or sports team that complimented the rest of my attire. Of course once I saw THAT, I quickly threw my hat back on... lol. Anyways, I heard many Black people complaining about the CNN special. They stated that they didn't "learn anything" from the special. Maybe it was THEIR ignorance but how could they not realize that the tv special was NOT for us? Of course I didn't learn anything NEW because I already know what it is like to be a Black Man in AmeriKKKa. That special was for NON blacks... It was for the white woman who sat next to my cube at my old job who would look me dead in my eye and tell me that racism doesn't exist anymore. It was for people who don't believe that Black people don't get profiled by law enforcement. It was for the people who had no idea that the education system wasn't created equal for Black people. How can you have "The American DREAM" when the stress and strife of LIFE keeps you awake? How could the only prominent Black man to have a DREAM gets shot and killed? Think about it...

I know I'm getting real long winded about this topic so I will just end it here. I'm about to head to Express and buy some more jeans... This time I'm going to go shop in the WOMENS SECTION and purchase some SPANDEX JEANS or something... HA!

-J. Wiggins

(You are more than welcome to start discussion or share your stories with me. You can either comment HERE or shoot me an email. Thanks in advance for your interest in this topic. jwiggins@conceptsproductions.com